Out of fear and the unknown, arise myths. A myth is a story with a purpose. Often the purpose is to sway opinion or beliefs.
I prefer to base my decisions on fact.
Let’s get to it then…
Sleep training methods are all the same.
Not at all. However, the term ‘sleep training’ has, in the past, gotten such a bad rap (thanks to a few rotten apples) that many parents are taken aback by the idea of implementing the advice of a Sleep Consultant or Coach. Come to think of it, many well educated and successful Sleep Consultants prefer not to use the term ‘sleep training’ at all. It’s unfortunate really because there are a lot of educated, passionate (and compassionate!) people out there to help parents.
Sleep training means ‘Crying it Out’
Firstly, crying it out means different things to different people. Most parents directly relate CIO with the extinction method (putting your baby down, leaving the room and not going back), and understandably they worry that this method will leave their child with a sense of abandonment. That being said, please also know that it is unrealistic to expect that you can change a baby’s sleep behavior without any protest at all. And babies cry to communicate protest or displeasure with anything so chances are good they will be some crying here and there.
The biggest thing to keep in mind is that when people talk about the ‘dangers’ of sleep training, they are generalizing ‘sleep training’ as being synonymous with ‘sleeping through the night’. Incorrect. When people talk about the ‘harmful effects of sleep training’ they are talking about methods like Ferber’s where a child is left alone to cry themselves to sleep. I do not advocate that. When they talk about the ‘lasting effects of crying’ with regard to sleep training, they are talking about leaving young babies to cry for prolonged periods of time. Not something I recommend, ever.
Myth 2
Children with grow out of itUnfortunately most children never “grow out of it”. Not knowing how to sleep is not just a phase that children go through. If a child is unable to sleep without assistance from mom and dad, they will almost always need mom and dad to put them to sleep and keep them asleep in one form or another. Teaching your little one how to sleep is a skill. just as teaching them how to eat healthy.
Myth 3
Crying is harmful for my babyThis is a very sensitive topic for some parents. I have done a lot of research and have found that there is no proof that crying is harmful to your baby. The simple fact is that babies cry, some more than others. This is how they communicate. As long as your child isn’t experiencing extreme trauma in their life; abuse, neglect, etc. then there is no reason to think that a few minutes of crying is going to create harm to your little one. And it’s important to remember, if this is something you are concerned about, I don’t teach CIO. You are with your baby while they are learning how to sleep on their own, so if there is crying involved you are there to comfort them the entire way through.
Myth 4
My baby must be hungry if he wakes during the nightThis is one that I can totally relate to. When my daughter wasn’t able to sleep for more that 2-3 hours at a time at night I was convinced it was because she was starving! But I have come to know that a healthy baby, one who doesn’t have any medical concerns related to weight, can sleep through the night by the time they are 3-4 months old.
Myth 5
I’ll never be able to leave the house if my baby is on a schedule
This is a concern that I get from a lot of parents I talk to. When I’m working with my clients I do ask that they stick to the schedule and routine that I have put together for them for the 2 weeks we are together. This allows my clients to get the most out of our time together. It helps them understand the importance of how much sleep their baby needs, when they need it, and how to handle sleep when life gets in the way. It also gives their child time to develop the skills they need in order to sleep without mom and dads help. After our 2 weeks together your baby will understand how to self sooth and you are able to go shopping, run errands, etc. If these things happen to run into your child’s nap time and, for example, your baby passes out in the car for a bit on the way home it’s not an issue because when your child knows how to sleep you can transfer them form the car seat to their crib to finish out their nap.
